Where Will Tim Tebow Land?

The 2010 NFL Draft
By Andrew Meyer

As a Gator grad, the biggest question for myself, Gator fans and haters alike is:

Which NFL team will be wise/dumb enough to draft Tim Tebow?

While I feel Superman is the best QB in the draft - Steve Young with a stronger arm and the ability to leap tall buildings - this article is not a testament is Tim Terrific’s greatness. (A more in depth analysis using numbers [ugh, numbers] to prove statistically that Tebow is a great passer can be found here.)

No, this article is a detective’s parlor, with all the likely suspects gathered in order to answer the question on every sports fan’s mind–

Who will draft Timothy Tebow?

To begin, let us dispose with the suspects on the fringe of the discussion, the teams with the need or the desire to draft Tim Tebow, but an unfortunate inability to pull the trigger.

Last teams first, the St. Louis Rams have already taken themselves out of the running, hitching their wagon to Sam Bradford, rather than make the legendary move of drafting mammoth DT Ndamukong Suh and trading up for Timmy T. They could have had Superman AND King Ndamukong in the same draft? I sure hope Bradford is worth it. (Footnote: Los Angeles loves superheroes. The Rams would’ve made an impact on their eventual new home with that dynamic duo.)


The Denver Broncos have a need at QB, but sadly for Broncos fans feel they have filled it with Brady Quinn. Anyone wondering whether they should take Mel Kiper or Todd McShay seriously should remember that they trashed the Dolphins for passing on Brady Quinn. I can still remember Kiper screaming as if the Dolphins had failed to nuke the asteroid in time before it destroys Earth. "YOU GOTTA TAKE BRADY QUINN THERE, OR ELSE THE DEBRIS WILL STILL BE IN THE EARTH'S PATH AND WIPE OUT ALL HUMAN LIFE!"

The Minnesota Vikings will need a QB once Favre retires in 2012, but after the Saints thrashed Old Man Football in the NFC Title game, the Vikes are likely to draft an O-Lineman like Maurkice Pouncey to prevent Favre from taking another beating.

The Cleveland Browns desperately need a QB, but have expressed a strange distaste for Tebow. Will they go for a double stack of overrated Notre Dame QBs and flush a pick on Jimmy Clausen? They ain’t called the Browns for nothin’ folks!

The Miami Dolphins and The New England Patriots are clever enough to recognize Tebow’s talent, but despite the value Timmy would have to both teams as a vicious Wildcat QB and super-second-stringer, both teams have other pressing needs likely to take precedence. My Dolphins need 3 starters on defense, at NT, OLB, and S, while the Patriots need a WR to replace Wes Welker’s shredded knee and a class in business ethics. Maybe Belichick has a home for Tebow after all!

The Oakland Raiders should be in the market for a franchise QB and Al Davis loves a QB who can throw the long bomb, but Tebow is not in Oakland's future. The Raiders are still waiting to see if JaMarcus Russell can round into form after dealing with emotional issues last season. Also, Tebow is precluded from playing in Oakland because of the Devil, who roots for Oakland in the guise of various Raiders fans. The energy field of Tebow’s halo will naturally repel the Raiders from being able to draft him.

Having eliminated the fringe possibilities, my dear Watson, and precluding all other NFL teams who are set at QB, here are your contenders, in reverse order.

#5 – The San Francisco 49ers. San Fran needs a QB, but may be scared off after whiffing on the anti-Tebow, Alex Smith. The 49ers are still trying to find the winner in Smith, and will thus lose out on the winner that is Tebow.

#4 – The Buffalo Bills. The Bills desperately need a QB and a shot of life, and Bills legend Jim Kelly has publicly endorsed Tebow as if he were running for President. Sadly for Bills fans, the Buffalo braintrust has a problem similar to the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. If only, they wouldn’t be likely to pass on Tebow and lock on Clausen or Colt McCoy (who I actually like as a late first-rounder, but certainly not before Tebow).

#3 – The Pittsburgh Steelers. Whaaaa? The Steelers? But they have a QB! True, but they also had a stud WR until Santonio Holmes hit a woman with a glass or whatever crazy thing he did that got him traded for a measly fifth rounder! If Pitt will ship Holmes for a 5 spot after an unsavory encounter, Big Ben could also be on the block. Realistically, I don’t think this will happen, but Steel City could trade Big Ben for picks, then make the best move of the draft and snatch Tebow. Big Ben won as a rookie, and Tim would also.

#2 – The Seattle Seahawks. Nobody told Matt Hasselbeck he retired two years ago, and so he remains Seattle’s first-stringer. But wait, Seahawks fans, there is hope! New coach/GM Pete Carroll may be a one-time NFL washout, but he also just watched Tebow dominate the college game for 3+ seasons and win two national championships. I give Carroll good odds at realizing that his best move is to ride the coattails of the best college football player of all time.

#1 – The Jacksonville Jaguars. The answer to the biggest question of the 2010 NFL Draft is the same as the answer to many of 2010’s biggest questions: money. Money is why the Jacksonville Jaguars are the most likely team to draft Timothy Richard Tebow. Tebow conquered the Florida high school record book at Nease High, located close enough to Jacksonville that Jaguars fans knew his name before Tebow cleaned up the college game. The Jaguars have a streaky good QB in David Garrard, and Tebow wouldn’t make sense for them football-wise, except for the fact that tickets to see Tim’s Heisman trophy might sell out faster than a Jaguars game. Jacksonville is full of Gators fans. Tim Tebow, get this, won a Heisman (almost three) and two national championships (almost four) as a Florida Gator! Ladies and gentleman, your new home for Tim Tebow, the Jacksonville Jaguars.


The Jaguars will trade down from 10 or up from the second round to land Timmy somewhere between 21-28, at which point Jaguars fans will celebrate for 15 years straight. Congratulations, Jacksonville. You earned it.

(Did they really? I don’t know. It seemed like a good way to end this story. And in all seriousness, God loves Tim Tebow, so J-Ville must have done something right to land him. Maybe they built a lot of homeless shelters.)

POSTSCRIPT

While I have your attention, and free reign to talk about the NFL, here are some of my other football thoughts.

C.J. Spiller is awesome.

The Dolphins will draft either Mike Iupati, Dan Williams, Earl Thomas, Sergio Kindle, or Derrick Morgan. Or someone that plays football. Definitely someone that plays football.

The NFL has THE worst player’s union in all of sports, and the players should strike immediately. America would absolutely shut down without the NFL. No NFL means no ESPN Sunday Countdown, no fantasy football, no Peyton Manning, no Green Bay Packers, and no Super Bowl. The players could demand a better medical plan, higher salaries, guaranteed contracts, no more franchise tags and world peace, and they would get all of it. Football is King.

Goldman Sachs taking heavy media fire

Indictments forthcoming for high crimes and treason?

“The first thing you need to know about Goldman Sachs is that it's everywhere. The world's most powerful investment bank is a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money. In fact, the history of the recent financial crisis, which doubles as a history of the rapid decline and fall of the suddenly swindled dry American empire, reads like a Who's Who of Goldman Sachs graduates.”
This is the opening to “The Great American Bubble Machine,” Matt Taibbi’s brilliant exposé in the July issue of Rolling Stone. Taibbi swiftly explains how Goldman Sachs has engineered every major market manipulation since the Great Depression, from stocks to the housing bubble to high gas prices. Thanks to the wonders of technology, you can also watch Taibbi explain how Goldman Sachs has been manipulating the world.
Almost simultaneously, analyst Max Keiser went off about the “financial terrorism” of Goldman Sachs on the BBC. In explaining how Goldman Sachs is stealing from every single person in America by manipulating the market, Keiser asks, “How is this any different from Osama Bin Laden?”
The answer to that question is none. For decades, the people running the worlds financial institutions, including Goldman Sachs, have started all the Wars on Earth, be they in Iraq or Vietnam or Europe. The people running the world’s financial institutions finance the political candidates, both Republican and Democrat, and the networks they campaign on, and then profit from the wars they engineer. The people running the world’s financial institutions, including Goldman Sachs, could have chosen to feed and clothe every single person in the world. By now, we could be enjoying world peace. To date, the bankers have instead decided to enjoy gaudy mansions and lifestyles, living off the hard work of sweatshop workers in the countries they have bankrupted. Be forewarned, the robber barons may let the dollar collapse, they have inflated it away, and you may want to invest in precious metals such as gold, silver and platinum, or a gold ETF.
You can keep drinking the Kool-Aid if you wish, but there will be consequences for America’s reckless spending of trillions created out of thin air. Start growing vegetables, forward this newsletter, and take to the streets with your Rand Paul clipboards, because real change – revolutionary change – is on the way. Just remember – violence begets violence. In the words of John Lennon – “All you need is love.”

Interview with Mark NuYork

I had the chance to talk with hip-hop master Mark NuYork. You can buy his new single "We Made It" or check out "If You Could Understand."

Who do you respect in the rap game right now?

I respect artists like Lil' Wayne for his work ethic, Jay Z, I like newcomer Drake, gotta say Nas, Biggie, Pac, these guys help pave the way. Kanye West, Ludacris, and Common of course.

How do you perceive the opportunities for up-and-coming artists?

To answer this next question I see a lot of opportunities for new artists like myself, especially with the internet right now theres so much ways to get out, shout out to Soulja Boy he was smart to utilize the internet to get known.

Where are you from, and what was it like for you growing up?

Mark NuYork grew up in Brooklyn, New York, east Flatbush. It wasn't easy still not, currently I'm in Florida now.

You once said, "When I get paper, I'll become the hood's savior." How are you going to help people with your success?

One thing about achieving success is you never forget to give back. Not only where you come from but other countries as well, its so many unfortunate people out there. First off though is family my moms gotta get first.

Any questions I should have asked you?

You can let people know I'm thankful I'm around to see a black president. I am on facebook, myspace, youtube, also people can buy my music on either amazon or itunes. New album coming out soon don't have a date yet.

Sharing

I always want to share.

And when I share, I always end up with more.

Imagine that.

With this in mind, I want to share with you some of the greatest technologies that help make my life a joy on a daily basis.

The first is iSofa.tv. Television can not compare with this site, an endless selection of the most amazing videos in the world.

Secondly, Reddit.com is the death knell of newspapers. On a daily basis, users vote for the most pertinent and most fascinating stories from around the world, be they political, personal, or pictures that say more than a million words.

And finally, I have to share with you my newfound love of Indian culture.

The shakti mat which I use frequently always relieves the stress in my back, accrued from merciless games of basketball.

Indian spices helped me concoct a culinary delight tonight, a wonderful feast of squash, onion, cauliflower, carrot, potato, peanut, and green pepper cooked in olive oil, garam masala, cayenne pepper, turmeric powder, coriander powder, and cumin powder.

And where would I have learned to cook like this, were it not for the Krisna movement. When I first experienced Hare Krisna lunch on the UF campus, I was overjoyed.

I can not overstate the greatness of the vegetarian feasts they provide on a daily basis.

Hare Krisna.

Hare Bo.

Sources

Don't trust me.

Seriously.

I'm just a person, and people make mistakes.

If someone tells you something is the truth, you should ask, "Who's your source?"

Google everything, and triple-check, because while there a many different points of view, some people are well paid to deceive.

To that end, here is a list of places I frequent for reliable information.

Don't trust them either.

Hermes-Press.com
RealityZone.com
Infowars.com
Chycho.com
Reddit.com
Submedia.tv
CommonDreams.org

The New News

Thousands of scientists dispute the idea of man-made global warming. Their explanation? The sun is getting warmer.

In a related twist of fate, "green jobs" actually cost jobs.

In other enlightening government news, the government agreed to lie about 9/11 and some in Congress are pushing drugs for new mothers.

The truth movement is making a difference, which is why mainstream media is attempting to hijack it.

Back with more in a minute.

Mental Clutter by Glenn Campbell

Back in the early days of computers, every second of computing time was considered precious. On mainframes, users were billed for the CPU time their program used. Computing time was horrendously expensive, so people wrote their programs to use as little of it as possible. Each program was run in sequence (or "batched"), and when the computer got to your program (stored on punch cards or paper tape), it performed the task quickly then sent you the bill.

Today, computing is ridiculously cheap. Today's personal computers can do more that a multimillion dollar room-size computers a few decades ago, so no one thinks much about CPU usage. As long as your own computer has sufficient capacity for the task at hand (say, the word processing program I am using now), no one cares how efficient the program is or what empy processes are running in the background.

Unfortunately, the same oversupply of computing power does not apply to the human brain. If you think of the brain as a biological computer, its physical capacity hasn't changed in thousands of years. "CPU time" is still extraordinarily precious. Everything though you think takes time. You have think about things sequentially—first about one problem, then another—and at the end of the day, there are only a limited number of thinking units available to you. The physical machine also has a limited lifespan—longer that a typical PC but certainly not infinite.

In your own universe, your brain is the most expensive and valuable mainframe you have. Why, then, would you want to throw any of its capacity away?

People can be very efficient with their thinking time when they are focused on an important task, like writing a report or bringing an airplane in for a landing, but as soon as you give them the freedom to use their brain time as they wish, they seem intent on wasting it.

It is not a waste of brain to just sit and think, as long as the topics covered are important. Daydreaming is not necessarily a misuse of the brain's CPU time either, because that's often how you solve real-world problems. There is nothing wrong with staring into space and free-associating, because this is the way we process our past experiences and plan our future actions.

What is a waste of mental resources are all those millions of outside products and diversions that do nothing for us except soak up CPU time. Crossword puzzles and video games are prime examples. Vast swathes of brain time are absorbed by these devices with nothing to show for them in the end. Come to think of it, just about everything marketed as entertainment is a mental time waster of some kind. People are always seeking "stimulation" in their entertainment—that is, a high occupation of mental resources—but it isn't usually meaningful stimulation that contributes anything to their lives.

It seems as though most people want to waste their own brain capacity. They drink to avoid using it. They "party." They watch meaningless TV shows for hours every day. They have those iPod thingys stuck in their ears at all times so there's no possibility of any conscious thought intruding.

Perhaps this is the most destructive addiction of all: the addiction to thought avoidance.

This disease manifests itself as "boredom" whenever ones mental time isn't fully programmed. Boredom is like the smoker's craving for a cigarette or an alcoholic's lust for drink. As soon as most people have "nothing to do," they panic and try desperately to fill the mental space with something.

And it isn't just video games that fill the void. A voracious reader can be just as much an addict. Is he reading because of the real benefit he is getting from the content or because of the anxiety he feels whenever he sits alone without anything to process?

Why do people avoid their own thoughts? Perhaps it is because those thoughts keep leading them to unpleasant conclusions. If you feel, deep down, that you are worthless or have made mistakes you can't deal with, your unhindered thoughts are always going to lead you back there. If you keep your brain continuously occupied, then you never have to think those thoughts. When the amusements run out, though, that's when panic strikes and you look for something, anything, to keep the bad thoughts at bay.

If you care about doing something useful with your own mental capacity, you can't be swayed by boredom or panic. Instead, you must only do things with your brain time that make sense. Like CPU time on a mainframe, your "thought space" is something you need to protect and never waste. Like any other precious resource, it has to be carefully managed.

You can never tell your brain exactly what to think, but you can manage the environment in which it operates. If there is too much clutter in that environment, you're not going to get a lot of useful thinking done. If you are constantly being interrupted by outside stimuli, it is going to be difficult to accomplish much complex higher-level creativity. If you turn off the radio, remove the Bluetooth from your ear, turn of the laptop and withdraw temporarily from people, the quality of your thinking processes will probably improve.

Those are exactly the conditions that most people equate with "boredom," but if you are wise, you will learn how to work with boredom and make it your friend. Only by being comfortable with your own thoughts can you make the most of your brain capacity.

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